I feel like a broken record. “How is Katelynn?” you ask. And I answer by saying, “She’s coming down with a cold,” or “She has a cold,” or “Why, she’s just getting over a cold!” And then I invariably add, “Cathy has it, too, but I’m trying not to get it!” (Or, sometimes, “I have it, too, but Cathy’s trying not to get it!”)

Yes, in the last 3 years, I have become somewhat of an expert on rhinoviruses. I have worked hard, with more success so far THIS year (knock on wood!), to fight them off. I have fortified my boundaries to keep them out by washing my hands exceedingly much, using a neti pot twice a day (all the while telling myself, “Wise Yogis do this, too!”), and gargling with a homemade brew of salty, garlicky water. Anything to keep them from getting inside and building a home there. When Katelynn sweetly, but sickly, kisses my face, I even (forgive me!) wash all traces of her affection off my skin with an alcohol-based hand cleanser.

I also do everything I can to fortify my inner immune system. I add powdered vitamin C to everything liquid that I consume. I imbibe Airborne by the quart. I eat excessive amounts of maitake mushrooms, which are purported to boost the body’s natural capacity to fight germs.

And still, I occasionally catch Katelynn’s (or Cathy’s) cold. Sometimes I simply can’t avoid it.

I’ve been thinking, as the cold and flu season begins in earnest, about how easy it can be to catch not only viruses, but also infectious emotions…anxiety, fear, upsetness, anger. I first became truly aware of this early in my dating life – a period when I was also religious about keeping a daily journal. One day I realized, while recording the events of a particular day and reflecting on the week as a whole, that even though I was waking up in the mornings happy and care free, my mood seemed to take a dive later in the day when I encountered my then-significant other. I realized that it wasn’t really I who was anxious, but she…and I was picking her anxiety up like a sponge.

Once I realized that, I could begin to fortify myself against it. Once I could name the true source of the anxiety, it made it much easier for me to be mindful of my own feelings, my own boundaries, and to not let anyone else’s feelings “infect” me quite so easily. This is something of which I’ve learned to be more and more aware over the years: what is mine, and what comes from outside of me.

Perhaps you have done some work in this area, too. I think anyone who is in relationships of any kind (and that means everyone) – marriage, friendship, work-related, or parent-child relationships, for example – has probably been infected by someone else’s anxiety at some point or another in his or her life. And probably more than we’d like to admit! Anxiety, in particular it seems, can spread fast within human community.

This would be an especially helpful thing if we were, instead, a community of gazelles, say, living on the savanna (or wherever it is that gazelles live). There would be a great deal of survival value in being able to sense quickly what the herd leader or sentry senses and to make a quick exit when threatened by a pride of hungry lions.

But of course, we are not gazelles, and seldom do circumstances require that we flee so rapidly. Most of those things we perceive as “threats” are actually survivable and quite easily so. Anxiety, on the other hand, can kill us.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling anxious or upset without really knowing why, ask yourself…when did you start feeling that way? What precipitated that feeling? Did it arise after, say, watching the 11pm newscast? Or during a conversation or an interaction with someone closer to home? Did you get infected by someone else’s anxiety? Is it really yours to own? Or can you let go of it?

If you can, please do. And remember, smiles – and joy – are infectious, too. Spread those whenever you can!

See you in church!
~Rev. Wendy